Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
