listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
