whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
sex in a hospital.. check
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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