So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
