living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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