It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I cut my penus on the lid.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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