I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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