It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I just had sex on a roof
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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