Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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