I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
only you would photoshop your dick
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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