I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Alive.
So much puke
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize