the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
