D3 body, D1 cock
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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