Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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