its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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