i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
