think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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