There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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