By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
