honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize