How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize