nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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