Soap is not a condiment
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
