Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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