"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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