The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
