nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
