i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I think my moral compass just broke
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