wakey wakey hands off snakey
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
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