Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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