Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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