He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
we're making bets on your personal life
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
