JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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