Dude my mom stole all your condoms
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
