we have officially lost it.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
