A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Randomize
