College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
How's work?
Spinning.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
