you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
