did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
