Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
