Do vagina's smell?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I think pants incapable of making pants work
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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