I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
