Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
