i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
