is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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