How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
