Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
