Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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