put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
so let's talk penis.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
