If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
