After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Randomize
