I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
