I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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