New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
