tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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