are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Randomize
